What I Did On My Winter Vacation

[ormondsacker]

Dec. 20 Pub quiz w/ neat people. After, drive aimlessly / lost around SMU campus vicinity for like an hour, looking for late food. Ultimately, Taco Cabana.

Dec. 21 Toy shopping, buy German hippo-shaped cookies, giant log of marzipan. People like marzipan, right? See wistful French biopic at the indy theater, completely sticking it to anyone who thought I was just being pretentious with that. Cinephile, that's right, uh. Back to OKC late.

Dec. 23 Christmas!! I love Christmas. Old family homestead is 3 hours away, though, and I have a ton of things to do today. Do ton of things, other ton of other things. Finish up with traditional rhymy Xmas reader shoutout on livejournal. It is now... 10:00 PM, raining. Um. Well, said I'd go today, so..

Dec. 24 Arrive old family homestead 1:30 AM, in rain. Christmas!

Wake to giant-ass-est snowstorm ever. Much-loved siblings, blood and -in-law, all stuck in OKC metro; self stuck in tiny fam. stead with my parents. Christmas?

Dec. 25 Christmas.

Mid-afternoon Dec. 25 That's enough Christmas. Flail humorously through snow for 5-6 hours, arrive home having only gone off road once. Small cup of store-bought nog, lie in bed twitching slightly.

Dec. 26 Hardly any icy-highway flashbacks.

Dec. 27 Okay, so whatever, Austin now. Just before Austin, stop for the traditional sausage-and-kraut kolache. Then traditional mind-numbing traffic jam, then lovely Austin that I love. I'll sometimes try to drop in at the giant Whole Foods flagship store on Lamar, in order to get adjusted to affluent, smiling liberals just walking around in public (weird!), but no time tonight.

Evening Dec. 27 Alamo Drafthouse special feature: The Holy Mountain, the notorious, gigantically elaborate, nigh-incomprehensible 70's headtrip movie, made on, with, for, and possibly from drugs. Bring it on. Knowing in advance that this was the feature, have warmed up by watching notoriously difficult/head-trippy Soviet-era sci-fi flick Solaris. This turns out to be like running a 5K in preparation for falling off a cliff. Onscreen, Christ-figure-slash-thief hero pushes through white plastic orifice, finds himself in presence of kung-fu God in white robes, platform boots, Gandalf hat. Kung-fu God is flanked by Bactrian camel, naked woman, two goats standing on hind legs. Guy beside me who unsuccessfully competed in "best drug story" competition before show moans softly. Hooah.

Dec. 28 Lunch at The Salt Lick barbecue, way out southeast of town. Detour back through Buda, TX for no particular reason. Buda is tiny little 3K place like old family homestead. Board houses, horses in pasture, Sheryl's beauty salon, school with ancient brick gym, more board houses, giant Walgreens, Check Into Cash (what?), strip mall QuiznosPetSmartOfficeMaxDressBarn and you're merging onto I-35 before you've fully processed the change. This is some kind of metaphor for something

Dec. 29 One more bookstore, lunch, and away into the gathering rain, cheerful. Meeting up with out-of-towner friends back in OK at 7, should have 90 mins to spare. Rain worsens, turns to snow, worsens. Squeeze past Fort Worth at 5, with just enough time to be a bit late, if roads were clear. Worsens. Pull into Taco Cabana (sigh) in Denton to text regrets. NASCAR driver strikes up hollery conversation from two tables over. ("NASCAR driver" as in "drives cars around for NASCAR" as in "hauls them from place to place in his truck, which is outside") According to his navigational dojigger, there's a semi overturned across the interstate just north of here. Order quesadilla, nod interestedly as new friend hollers across tips on heavy-snow haulage techniques. Walk to nearest hotel, read boring essay on American Indian Movement, watch True Blood for three hours.

And that's how I spent my winter vacation. Oh, Christmas haul. Stein. Sherlock Holmes quiz book. Knife from father, who occasionally gives me knives. Handsome fifties book-club edition of Three Men in a Boat, Jerome K. Jerome. Shirt. Decorative candle from office Dirty Santa. (Rules of office Dirty Santa: 1) Someone will bring a decorative candle. 2) Just go ahead and grab decorative candle early, otherwise will end up with something that plays "Jingle Bell Rock" while gyrating.) Clock. Church offering envelope turned inside out, with "Merry Christmas" written on, carefully. Best outgoing: tie between out-of-print-since-60s history of Old Homestead County (for locally-minded mom), and a duplicate of that Korean-made hotpot sister and husband used to cook in Japan (from the back shelves of local Asian market, adaptor included).

Up-and-downest Christmas ever.